Urgent Update: Please Read

Okay, so I was hoping I could put off saying this, but since it’s been like two weeks since my last insubstantial post, I feel like I’d be leaving a lot of people hanging without justification if I didn’t explain what’s been going on. You may remember that the day after my last post, I went to visit my family physician, hoping they could assist with this persistent cough I’ve had since early November. What they found was… disturbing.

First they ordered an X-ray and some bloodwork, standard practice. When the X-ray came back displaying an indistinct abnormality in my thoracic cavity, they ferried me on over to another clinic for more bloodwork and a CT scan, hoping that would tell them what was wrong with me. As it turns out, I have a large mass just behind my sternum that’s restricting my breathing. How big is it? About the size of a hackey-sack or a small baseball, and contrary to what they first told me, the CT scan seems to show that it’s not just pushing against my trachea,  but pinching it to half its normal diameter while also forcing it a few inches to one side of my chest. It’s big is the point, and I’ve taken to calling it silly things like “Giger” and “Quatto” to lighten the mood.

As far as they can tell, my bosom buddy is complex but mostly fluid-filled, with a bit of solid tissue in the middle. What that fluid is or even what kind of mass this is (cyst, abscess, tumor, or something else) is something they still can’t tell me, so I’m scheduled to have a biopsy done after a hematology consult to make sure I haven’t inherited my father’s clotting disorder. The procedure sounds like it’ll have to be invasive (moreso than a needle anyway) due to the location of the mass, so they thought it would be a good idea to play it safe, since it’s located right next to a vein. I’ll have to miss work to spend a few days in the hospital, and then a few more when I return to have it drained/removed/whatever they plan on doing to it.

Good news is, the fact that my bloodwork is normal and they still don’t have a clue what it is even after a CT scan makes me believe it probably isn’t a tumor (malignant or otherwise). As it stands right now, I’m a bit of a medical oddity, and I’ve got an interesting couple weeks ahead of me. So if you’ve been wondering why you haven’t heard anything from me for the past couple weeks, it’s because a squishy alien is trying to strangle me from the inside in the slowest, most passive-aggressive way possible. Truly a death fit for a Minnesotan, I suppose.

Anyway, I’ll try to resume my writing from the hospital or whenever it becomes convenient, but for now I’ve got a lot on my plate dealing with the real world, and you might not hear from me for a while. I apologize for not informing everyone sooner. I was hoping to get the next chapter done by now and I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to tell everyone this, but as you can see I’ve clearly been distracted and I figured now was as good a time as any to inform everyone of my condition before people start wondering where I’ve disappeared to.



  1. Well, that sounds like you need Dr. House. After almost killing you three times he’ll know exactly what’s going on. Anyway, good luck, I am happy to wait a little extra for a chapter is it means the author stays in good health. Just don’t make a habit of spontaneously creating hackeysacks in your body, next time it might make you do more than cough and hack (my puns are lame).

    Don’t let your schemes be dreams, get these stories written down.

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